Tag: God

“It Only Takes a Spark”

While at Family Camp, a conversation came up about old camp songs. “Kumbaya” was at the top of everyone’s list, but at the top of mine was a little song I learned when I was in elementary school. A friend of mine, who had just returned from camp, was singing it and I asked her to teach me the song. I loved the easy lyrics and melody and I began singing it all the time, even though I didn’t really understand what it meant. I didn’t come to know the Lord until I was an adult, but that little song was like a seed planted in my heart. So, when this song came up at Family Camp, I sang the little tune. A couple of my grandkids were sitting there listening and simply gave me a nod when I was done. “That’s really cute.” my granddaughter said with a little grin. We just giggled and moved on to some other old camp songs.

But I keep thinking about that little song. For me, the sweetest part of this hymn are the words, “It only takes a spark to get a fire going.” and maybe that’s why I found it so endearing at such a young age. Even then, I always believed that my purpose in life was to be a spark in this world; to spark inspiration and encouragement into the people in my little piece of the world.

My tidbits of encouragement are always about hope and silver linings, but I do that with one foot on the ground and lots of experience with life’s ups and downs. While I’ve always had a positive attitude about life, I do know that sometimes being a “spark” isn’t easy when faced with life’s challenges. Life isn’t perfect and sometimes it’s hard to see our way out of the forest. Happiness isn’t a constant state of being and worry can’t be wished away with optimistic quips and quotes. Change can be earth-shaking and filled with worry and doubt.

But I also know that even in our darkest moments, God will help us find our “spark” and will remind us that all things – not some things, many things, or most things – I repeat, ALL things, are possible through Him who gives us strength.

It only takes a spark to get a fire going
And soon all those around can warm up to its glowing
That’s how it is with God’s love
Once you’ve experienced it
You spread His love, to everyone
You want to pass it on.

It was such a simple little campfire song with such a powerful message and now, as a mature follower of Christ, I know it’s full meaning. We are called, as believers, to share our faith. We should have so much hope in Christ that we want to pass it on! We know full well, especially living here in California, that it only takes a spark to set a blazing and destructive fire. But the spark that we, as believers, must share is positive and life-giving. We should be intentional and prayerful in how we use this God-given spark. Whether it’s to share the gospel message to someone who doesn’t know Jesus, or to bring that hope and light back into someone who’s faith has been shaken, pray that we see this spark come ablaze in those that God puts in our circle of influence.

What spark has God lit in you…or is trying to light in you?
What is He compelling you to do?
Do you see that someone’s spark is fizzling?
Who is He telling you to reach out to?

Friends, a spark is a smile, an encouraging word or text message, an invitation for coffee, a powerful verse, a hug, your attention and time, a meal, a prayer, a conversation on the phone or in person, an encouraging note in the mail, or a link to a song that just seems so perfect.

Some sparks seem so small, while others seem huge. But both types of sparks are of vital use for God’s glory. One of the greatest disservices we do to ourselves, in our life with Christ, is feel that what we do is too little and not very important. But one little spark spreads faith, encouragement, and hope. Just one little spark! It’s important that we listen for His calling and that we share and serve however small or big that might seem. He leads us and will take our little spark to get the fire going.

I will make you a LIGHT for the nations, that my salvation may reach to the end of the earth.
Isaiah 49:6

I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.
Philippians 4:13


Simply, Cindy

The Uncluttered Life: The Beginning

This is actually where it all began. The Uncluttered Life journey, that is. It’s been a year and half since I was taken out of the big work world. Now, just for the record, my intent isn’t to start this off on a negative tone. I’ve gotten past all of that, but recently, I realized the lasting affect it’s had on me. I have since come to terms with that big movement in my life and have embraced – and LOVE! – this new place in my life that I’m in. I’m only sharing that little blurb because it sets the picture of how this all came to be.

Back then I regularly dressed in slacks, skirts, blouses, cute shoes, matching purse, and all of the adornments that pulled the entire outfit together. When that part of my life ended, I put all of those things away. It was as if a part of me was gone and I associated these things with the person I “was.” My slacks were shoved to the back of my armoire. My skirts and blouses remained hanging in the closet, collecting dust. My shoes were all tossed to the closet floor and changed out for flip-flops and slip-on tennies. Beautiful purses were shoved into a box in the corner of the room. And my adornments…I kept only a few things out and dumped everything else into a big box lid and shoved it under my bed, where my toes have kicked it ever since.

I put a part of myself away. A cluttered mind and heart, I’d say…

So after kicking this box lid for the five hundredth and fifty-first time, I decided it was time to pull it back to the surface and go through it all. You know how we all have that big ol’ ball of Christmas lights to untangle in December? Well…that’s a good picture of what this looked liked. I cleared my dining room table and brought every single piece of jewelry out and began the four-hour task of dusting, untangling and sorting. Yep…four hours.

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It’s interesting the pull of emotions that came with this task. It brought back a painful memory for me, but also a new excitement for a life that I have embraced and love. I truly have the fondest of memories for those years of my life and I allowed a moment to kind of snuff it out – and to snuff out a little flame in my heart. Pretty jewelry, tangled and dusty, was the perfect reflection of that little area I had tucked away. I wanted that piece of me back again.

I decided, as I was conquering this huge task, that I would do my best to be brutal. I could only commit to “do my best” because well..I do love jewelry. To me, it’s like the signature on a painting; the final touch. Beside me was a bag, to put everything that I didn’t love or that needed repair and couldn’t be fix on the spot. I wasn’t going to keep anything that was not useful in this moment.

For three days I kept this now untangled, sorted, and sparkling collection on display in my dining room. When my kids and grandkids would stop by, they were shocked by the amount that I still had…even after filling a decent sized bag with the items I wouldn’t be keeping. It wasn’t on display for them as a “look what I have!” sort of thing. No, it was for me. There was something painfully revealing in it all. Some sort of connection to a part of my heart that needed to be faced and revived. I suppose one would think it crazy of me, but I spent a lot of time sitting there, looking at it all, touching, remembering…feeling.

Materially, I couldn’t help but feel shame in such a collection of stuff. I was probably everyone’s favorite person to invite to the jewelry party. I couldn’t help but wonder if having all of this was to fill a void I had then. I joked with my husband one Saturday morning over coffee and told him, “If you’re wondering what to buy me for any occasion; my birthday, Valentine’s Day, Christmas…DO NOT buy me jewelry. I think it would be best if you bought me therapy!!” We had a good laugh over that, but honestly, I think there’s some truth in it. Now, please don’t get me wrong. In telling you my little stories, I am in no way trying to say that we shouldn’t enjoy the fruits of our labor. But for me, this was excessive. Okay, maybe for anyone…this is excessive. Right?!

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Spiritually, this day took on a deeper meaning inside of me. Just like these pretty items that were tossed in a box lid and pushed under a bed, so was the condition of my heart. Inside, I had a big part of me that was tangled, dusty and broken. My home, my jewelry, my clutter, was a direct reflection of what the outer me had become. I didn’t realize the rut I was in; jeans, frumpy t-shirts, and flip-flops had become my new uniform. I mean, we all love days dressed like this, but this really became a reflection of the inside me.

With the untangling, dusting and fixing of each pretty piece, it was as if these motions were doing the same inside of me. It was as if a part of me that lay dormant began to wake up again. I felt inspired to reclaim my life; what I was and what I am now! In spite of the daunting task, I felt a spark of excitement to MOVE!

While I had no idea I would need this in such a big way, God knew that this moment would approach. I’m left feeling thankful, even for that rough time of my life. I’m a very deep and passionate person. As I said yesterday, I only allow people to see what I want them to see. I’m a fighter at heart, so I always do my best to move forward and rarely allow people to see into the true depths of my heart. I am not one to reveal my pain and suffering. So while this might seem an odd realization about a pile of old jewelry, this was a deep picture of what God does in our lives. As I was lovingly cleaning pretty things, He was lovingly cleaning something pretty deep inside of me.

Do you see the relation there? I believe that our clutter is a direct reflection of something so much deeper inside of us that only He can fill.

So you might be wondering…”Well, what did you do with all of that jewelry?” Well, friends, I cleared off a lovely shelf that was overflowing with other clutter (more stories to come), found some pretty baskets, trinket boxes, and frames that I misplaced in another cluttered location 🙂 and put them on display where I can see them – and wear them! – every single day.

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As you can see, it’s more than I could probably wear in a year, so the process isn’t over for me. But I’m going to allow these items to linger here for a while, as my heart continues to heal, feel, and reclaim its beauty from the inside out.

An aside: Do you have an excessive area that you collect? Is there a deeper void that you’re trying to fill?  What needs to be untangled, dusted off, fixed and maybe even tossed, in your home and heart? The realization of this is your beginning to healing.

Up next…the clothes!!
Oh, I have so much more to share (with tips)… 🙂

*raising my cup of coffee to you*
Cheers!

 

Oh, Lover of My Soul…

It was two weeks ago, at about this hour, that I was sitting at this very keyboard when a message came through on Facebook; a note from a childhood friend telling a group of us that another childhood friend had died sometime during the early morning hours. She was found in her bed…

…and I was undone.

For two weeks I have struggled with my words, something that usually just fills my head and heart and easily rolls right out of my fingertips. But every time I sat down to try and write something, I just stared at the blank whiteness on my screen.

She was beautiful, inside and out. A woman with a colorful past, with a heart so filled with vicious love, it consumed her. Her life wasn’t perfect – but let’s be honest…is there any one of us that can make this claim? No. She had her quirks and faults…all that she willingly named and claimed. I adored and even admired her for that. There’s so much of myself that I keep tucked away from prying eyes, but she didn’t care who saw the anguish and longings of her heart.

But she wasn’t someone who begged for attention. She didn’t write “oh woe is me” kind of comments. She’d get her vents out there where they no longer had a hold on her brain and then she’d be done. In spite of her venting moments and troubled loneliness, she was one of the biggest encouragers I knew. “Smiles & Laughter” was her regular sign-off before the end of the day.

I notice, on her last day, that something was up. That morning she called out to her friends to send her some energy for the day. A few of us chimed in with good thoughts that she took to heart. All seemed well. But that afternoon, something had changed. Her posts were ones of anger…

…and I didn’t respond.

I thought she was just having one of her venting sessions and soon she’d be okay. Her last post of the day said, “I hate life…”

I saw it and responded with “Praying!” I woke up the following morning (two weeks ago today) with her heavy on my heart. I sent her one of my favorite passages, Lamentations 3:22-24…Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” Along with that, I told her that I was praying she’d wake up feeling refreshed and renewed.

…and she never saw my note.

When the message came through, I wanted to scream. I literally gasped, both hands over my face, and all I could utter was, “OH GOD!! OH GOD!! OH GOD!!…” It took me days to process this type of grief I was feeling…disbelief, guilt…and anger!

My prayers were anguish cries “at” God, “I told her that because of Your love we are not consumed! Well, she was consumed, God. Consumed by her loneliness!!! My words feel empty even now. She never even saw them…” And this went on for days as I wrestled with Him. While I’m good at explaining things, it’s impossible for me to fully explain how loved I felt in those moments. Even in my anger, I could feel His hugs.

I believe He cried with me. After all, she was His as well as I am. The anger in me subsided a little, but then came the guilt. You see…she had moments like these. We had many private message, behind the public comments, and so many times she would tell me what a gift I had for encouraging and comforting her. She never felt like I was shoving God down her throat, but that I always brought some sort of BIG hug along with my words. So guilt moved in on me. I saw the change that afternoon, and I didn’t say a thing…until it was too late. Now I know that God is always in control, but I didn’t use the gift that He has given me to even try to mend her battle wounds. I am ashamed to admit that I passed it off as, “She’s having one of her vent sessions and she’ll be fine.”

…but even there, God has comforted me.

God is in control, and I am not. I have no idea what happened that night…it seems that no one does – or isn’t saying. It doesn’t matter to me. I don’t need to know the details, in fact I don’t want to know them. All I know is that I lost a precious childhood friend and my heart deeply misses her presence .

I lean towards introvert tendencies. I am an open book in various areas of my life that I choose to share with others, but there’s much that I tuck away. I am always in tune to my audience of readers; never wanting to offend. But…I am guilty of missing opportunities to speak life, truth and healing into the battle wounds of those who call me “friend.”

Never again!  

My Dear Friend – I am so sorry that I said nothing. I miss your presence every single day, but assure you that your presence will forever remain in my heart. Because of you, I am changed in many ways. When I feel those nudges to speak encouragement into someone, I won’t just pass them by. Holding up my coffee cup to you.
Smiles and Laughter to you, Sweetie. *cheers!*

Oh, Lover of my soul – You are truly my Comforter, my Savior, my Rock and Redeemer. This has been a rough heart lesson for me. Help me to be confident and bold in my faith…to speak the words that You always put into my heart. I am so thankful that I can have childlike faith, stomping my feet in anger and grief, and that you love and hug me even tighter. Thank You for helping me find my words.
You’re a good good Father. *hugs!*

(Please forgive lack of edits today…this was all about getting the words out of me.)
Holding my cup of coffee up to all of you, dear friends. *Cheers!*

 

lover of my soul

Healing Balm

It happened two days ago. The work week had been a busy one, but I was feeling like I had an energetic spunk in my step. I was on track and moving through a very productive day. In spite of falling off of my healthy band wagon over the past month, I was feeling particularly good about myself; good hair day, cute outfit, jewelry that rocked, and high heels. Just feeling good and focused.

The mail had just been delivered to my desk, so I was walking around and handing it out to my coworkers, giving them all a cheery “Hello!” as I dropped items onto their desks. With a busy month behind me, and a fairly clear calendar ahead of me, I was feeling pretty jazzed about the forward momentum I was feeling. As I finished up and turned to walk back into my office, I felt the punch! BAM!

“What the…?!?!” I had just been sucker punched right in my back!!   As I tried to relax and hobble back over to my chair, I told myself, “Don’t even think about it. Just relax. Mind over matter…mind over matter.” But as I sat there, the pain became so intense I thought I’d go crazy. Before I knew it, the entire area was becoming a huge knot, seizing to the point of pain if I even moved my right arm. And good grief, it was right in that upper area of the back that’s impossible to reach, but I sure tried. I thought that if I could just rub it out, the knot would subside and relax. However, the stretch to try to reach it caused the pain to go up the side of my neck.

The feeling of old age and worry began to creep in. I don’t just flick off those pains like I used to. No, my brain begins to take me on a mental rollercoaster ride of possibilities as to what could be causing such pain. Instead of thinking I’ve simply pulled a muscle, my mental ride loops me around twists and turns of, “Is it my heart?! Is it some sort of foreign growth?!” Yes friends, I am a closet worrier when it comes to health issues. I guess when you’re diagnosed with hypertension (which I always thought was just over-the-top positive energy) and are told “…it’s the silent killer, especially in women,” well…the brain can take you on some serious loop de loops when even normal stuff happens.

I immediately logged into Avocado (a great site for couples, by the way) to have an IM chat with my husband. “Are you there?!” I type. (pause…for what seems like forever) “Yep, I’m right here.” he writes back to me, seconds later. I begin to tell him about the pain I’m in and I write, “Please tell me that I’m okay.” Seriously….this man of mine is amazing in so many ways. He never ever treats me like the big baby I sometimes turn into. Instead, he assures me with all sorts of encouragement that he knows how to speak in my own language. Thank you HB.

He writes back, “You are fine, my love. You’ve had a lot of stress going on and I think it finally hit you.” I write, “You think so…?”

Huh. Stress? Could it really be that? I took pause for a moment to go through the mental list of things that had taken place over the last month or so.

Hmm, let’s see…my old boss retired, a new boss stepped in. Attended new meetings and assisted in office moves. Made travel arrangements for out-of-town wedding. Went through address book to find someone to take care of the animals while the family was out-of-town. Attended non-work meetings and events. Planned, coordinated, bought decorations, food and other necessary items for out-of-town rehearsal dinner.  Hosted rehearsal dinner. Attended most romantic and fun wedding ever! Paid bills. Scheduled and rescheduled meetings and events. Paid bills. Oh yeah…broke my tooth (the week before the wedding), made dental appointments for that. Paid big dental bill. Oh wait…that reminds me…excuse me for a sec while I take my blood pressure medication. 🙂

Yeah…I guess HB was right. I guess it was possible that a little bit of tension here and there punched me right square in my back. And this morning, when I woke up, I was reminded of it all over again.

So what do I do with all of this? How can I use this, in a positive way, to move forward?

In looking back on my big mental list, I was hit again…with a visual of what a control freak I really am! While I do love to create casual and relaxed settings for others, I practically kill myself in the process as I seek to acquire perfection.

This morning I picked up my “Jesus Calling” devotional and just have to share what today’s message said:

Trust ME enough to let things happen without striving to predict or control them. Relax, and refresh yourself in the Light of My everlasting Love. My Love-Light never dims, yet you are often unaware of My radiant Presence. When you project yourself into the future, rehearsing what you will do or say, you are seeking to be self-sufficient; to be adequate without My help. This is a subtle sin–so common that it usually slips by unnoticed.

The alternative is to live fully in the present, depending on Me each moment. Rather than fearing your inadequacy, rejoice in My abundant supply. Train your mind to seek My help continually, even when you feel competent to handle something by yourself. Don’t divide your life into things you can do by yourself and things that require My help. Instead, learn to rely on Me in every situation. This discipline will enable you to enjoy life more and to face each day confidently. ~Psalm 37:3-6; Philippians 4:19

Wow. Like balm to my sore muscles, just the thought of this Truth eases the tension within me. Why is it that I continually take the reins as I charge through the days of my life? I did have several spiritual moments throughout the busyness listed above. But that’s the thing…they were truly just moments. I didn’t really have Him with me as I charged in to make all things perfect.

We’re told to give thanks in everything…so that’s what I’m choosing to do today. In spite of the pain I still feel in my back, I’m feeling thankful that it caused me to slow my mind down enough to re-think the things that I do and the chaos I can create when I take control and go it alone. So today, I’m refocused spiritually…with Him out in front of me.

So what about you? Got any events on the horizon that you are over-the-top controlling? Come on, be honest. Have you even taken a moment to sit down, relax and depend on Him for your abundant supply? If not, I can’t encourage you enough to get your focus back. Re-read the words from my morning devotion.

My favorite part…”Instead, learn to rely on Me in every situation. This discipline will enable you to enjoy life more and to face each day confidently.” Oh yeah…Healing Balm…I just felt it rubbed into that little knot in my back.

Have a blessed day, friends.

~CindyLu

friday chats

 

Who’s Setting the Bar?

HB and I have found a great couples devotion. Every Saturday morning we start our day on the porch, with coffee in hand, as we dive into some positive and, often times, very deep conversations about us and life.

We’ve both experienced areas of ministries, that we were once so passionate about, fading away. It has left us feeling tired, defeated, wandering spiritually, and asking, “Well…now what do we do?”

It’s apparent to me, that we will have periods in our life where everything is just clicking into place and then, all of a sudden, the well runs a bit dry and we’re left standing there wondering, “What happened?!

But, it’s true what they say…”God will meet you right where you are.” I know this because, in my weariness, He’s met me here and has assured my heart that I’m still okay. In fact, I believe He’s wanted me to have a little rest so that I can recharge, reflect and refocus.

Going forward looks very different from what I left behind…a concept that is sometimes hard for me to grasp because I often want what I had. I think we all have some moment that we want to return to, but life is always in forward motion so pining after “that moment” leaves us feeling discouraged and empty.

I can see now, that I’m often guilty of setting the bar. Instead of just following His lead, I take it and run off ahead. When I remove Him from the equation, I begin to either feel overwhelmed or discouraged, like I’m somehow letting Him down. The truth is, I’m letting me down, because I didn’t reach “my” expectation. His feelings never change for me. Why can’t I grasp that?!

But as I continue to move forward, I’m seeing His thumbprint on what is ahead and so I move along, slowly for now, keeping the eyes of my heart on Him. I’m trying to focus on simple truths like,…”Be still and know that I am God.” And “My yoke is easy and my burden is light.” It’s becoming clearer to me, that “my way” can lead to stress, chaos, and feelings of being overwhelmed and discouraged. But, over and over again, I feel what’s being impressed on my heart is that His way is fulfilling and simple. Period.

If you feel like you’re floundering and overwhelmed with “stuff,” I would encourage you to focus on those two simple truths. Just be still, calm your heart, and lean on the assurance that He is God and in control.

If your day(s) begin to feel insurmountable and chaotic, I would encourage you to do a “bar check.” and ask yourself, “Who’s setting the bar? Is this God’s bar – or mine?” and then, readjust, as needed.

Just remember…His way is fulfilling and simple.

~CindyLu

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To Be Continued…

When I first sat down to write this little piece, on this last day of April, I was going to start out by saying something along the lines of, “Well, as my Simple Life journey comes to an end…”

April was a month where I began a personal journey; my Simple Life challenge to get rid of stuff that is cluttering up our home and lives. This ended up being such a huge lesson for me. It’s been like throwing the proverbial rock into the water and seeing the ripple effect as it reaches outside of its circle and beyond.

When I started this journey, I thought it was about material junk, but it’s been about so much more than that. In addition to the “stuff,” it’s been about crazy schedules, unexpected forks in the road, stacks of paperwork, unplanned interruptions, scads of emotions…it’s been about life!

I thought, by the end of this month, I’d be reporting that my home is immaculate, that everything unnecessary has been taken away, and that all that is useful has a designated spot. But that is not the case. I thought I’d be able to say that after 30-days of effort, everything is perfectly simple. Nope.

But what I can say is that we have a clearer vision of where we’re headed. While we’ve made gigantic leaps and bounds in getting rid of junk in various areas of our lives, there’s still a lot of work to be done. We will continue to move on, in forward motion, to creating a simpler life…mentally, physically and spiritually.

Without telling our entire story here, I can attest to the fact that we have lived a very busy life for the past thirty years. We’ve worked since we were teenagers, had four sons by the time we were twenty-eight, have served on school and sports boards and committees, and have led church meetings and ministries. So now…our hearts long for a bit of rest.

I know there will always be things to do. Our schedules will always have unexpected interruptions. I know that living life – even a simple one – means being flexible and helping where needed. But I’m definitely going to be slower at jumping…more thoughful before raising my hand to sign up. I’m going to take time to think and pray on things before I take gigantic leaps to fill the holes. I believe my life and my health depends on it.

As we move into May, HB and I have decided that in addition to forward momentum on the home front and the continued effort to get rid of material junk that crowds us out, we’re planning to face our physical and spiritual clutter. Back in September we adopted a new way of eating – or some may see it as “not” eating – when we went wheat and grain free. It was a major change for us, but it reaped very rewarding benefits; like HB’s blood sugar and my high blood pressure levels lowering. So as we continue to move into this brand new month, we’re not only bringing with us everything that we learned over the past month, but including new motivation for simple and healthy living.

On the spiritual side…we both feel as if we’re in a stagnant state of the heart. So we plan to use some down time to reconnect and refresh with God in His proper place…front and center. We need this as a couple and as individuals, as we believe this is the strongest root to living a simple and abundant life.

So, as you can see, this isn’t the end of the challenge, but the beginning of something new and improved. Simple Life just became Healthy Life!

We will keep you posted as we walk forward, maybe even jog, into this new lifestyle.

~CindyLu~

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Simple Life – One’s Junk is Another’s Treasure

As the end of the month is drawing near, I am getting increasingly excited – with a little bit of stress thrown in there for good measure. I’m anxious and excited to see a lot of stuff disappear from our home, but I’m still not as far into the process as I’d like to be. This week and weekend will be a big one for us. But I must explain the exciting part!

HB and I attended a meeting, last night, with a few couples from other churches near our own. We are working together on a community outreach project to help local families in need. One of the couples has a ministry called Atlas that helps hurting men and women in the community; people who are down on their luck and are in need of assistance, support and resources to rebuild their lives. They told us about a new branch to their ministry and how they recently acquired a thrift store for their organization.

Immediately, the light bulbs began to click on! I told them about my month of minimizing and simplifying, and the stacks of clothing and other stuff that I’m accumulating. Not only did they want to hear more about the journey I’ve been on, but they also wanted any donations we were willing to send their way. And get this…their doors open the first week in May!

Seriously now…is all of this timely or what?! As someone who believes that everything happens for a reason, I am so excited to load everything onto our trailer and cart it away to this great organization. To know that, not only will this help out some good friends in building their new store and ministry, but also that my junk will be treasures to others in greater need, just excites me to no end.

This Simple Life Adventure just became more meaningful than I imagined.

So bring on the boxes!!
I’m ready to load them up and take them to their future home.

~CindyLu~

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Things I Take For Granted

It’s true what they say, you know. Distance really does make the heart grow fonder. HB (aka my husband) has been gone for four days now. He’s serving with a team from our church down in Mexico; building a small home for a family in need. Awesome, huh?!

I’m so proud of what he and the team are doing there and so thankful for social networks, like Facebook, because I can chat a little bit online and see the daily upload of pictures. However…I sure miss his presence around the home.

It’s amazing…the little things that I just take for granted. There’s so much that he does, big and small, in our daily life together that I never even stop to just say, “Thank you” for.

He gets up earlier than I do and always puts the pot of coffee on. Oh, how I miss waking up to the scent of coffee and aftershave. We usually sit and have our first cup together, before we both head off in opposite directions. I’ve slept in each morning this week because coffee alone in the livingroom just doesn’t feel right. I miss not having an early morning conversation and the sound of his voice.

We have certain shows that we watch together. I watch very little TV while he’s gone. I don’t know, somehow I feel like I’m having a TV affair if he’s not there watching it with me. Besides, it’s just weird watching something like, “The Voice” and not having him there to ask me who I liked best – or me telling him, “Oh…that one was chill worthy” (I get chills if someone is really good. I know…I’m odd like that, but he “gets” me). So I’ll wait until he returns and we’ll catch up on Hulu together.

I’m also certain the dogs miss him something awful because no one plays with them or scratches their ears quite like he does. And on a couple of mornings, they’ve followed me around, sort of moping, until I finally realize that they’re still waiting for me to fill their food dish. HB is like clockwork when it comes to feeding them. I’m sure they will be whimpering with delight when he walks back through the door.

He just does scads of things that are so helpful to our daily lives; like stopping at the store on his way home from work, starting dinner because I get home after he does, moving my clothes from the washer to the dryer… The list could go on and on.

But then there are other things…the little simple things, like, how I get into bed with my ice cold feet (which is just about every night, regardless of the temperature outside) and how he reaches over with his leg to draw them in between his to warm. Or how he’ll say something so funny that it gives me uncontrollable giggles and then we both end up in tears from laughing so hard.

I don’t know…maybe it’s good for couples to spend a little bit of time apart sometimes. It truly does make you take notice of just how much they do. You really see the “team” that you’ve become together and it gives you a new and improved appreciation for one another.

He is my very best friend in the whole wide world. I’m so proud of what he is doing and so thankful that he’s able to be a part of this team…but I really miss his presence.
Thank you, HB, for all that you do.

Sheesh – I sound like a lovesick puppy, huh?
But, isn’t this the way marriage should be?

holding hands

“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
~Matthew 19:4-6

Simple Life – Keeping It Flexible

I find it interesting that as I move forward on my Simple Life Adventure – the process doesn’t always feel, well…simple. Sometimes I think I set the proverbial bar too high. I’ve done it in other things too. I have certain goals that I want to reach by a certain date or time, and when I don’t, I feel a bit discouraged in my efforts; like I have somehow failed. Instead of feeling victorious over what I HAVE achieved, I can be more focused on what didn’t take place the way I planned it. Even an uber optimist, like me, can fall down at times.

I sort of felt that way after Thursday evening’s mishap (the dislocated toe). Seriously…one of my first thoughts was, “No! I have so much that I need to accomplish!” It left me feeling behind in my plan and I allowed it to discourage me. I had to slow things way down as I nursed my foot and had intended to be much further in this process than I am.

It even affected my writing…I mean, what was there to write about if I wasn’t on task?! We can be so good at sabotaging our own efforts. That’s mental sabotage at its finest.

But this little journey just continues to open my eyes to the reality of life; like, how you just can’t plan it all out no matter how hard you try. I know, that should just be a no-brainer, but even though I’m well aware of that truth, I still try to plan things out in some sort of orderly fashion. But I/we have to know that life is just going to throw the occasional curve, so it’s important to stay flexible – in everything.

My new goal is to just take each day as it comes and to do my best to allow flexibility in a not-so-perfect and simple life.

I can report, though, that yesterday my energy felt rejuvenated. I had originally planned to stay home from church, but decided to hobble my way out the door and take in a good message. And wow, it was really good! I’m so glad I resisted the urge to stay home because I would have missed out, not only on a message that soothed a weary heart, but also on seeing “family” that, even though they didn’t realize it, lifted me up in a moment of need – simply by being there with their smiling faces that were happy to see me.

Feeling recharged, I was back at it again when I got home. I turned on some good tunes and I’m happy to report that I’m on my third bag of clothing to take to the thrift store. I worked for several hours before I decided to give myself permission to call it a day. I believe my bedroom will be clutter free after tonight…but, I’m keeping it flexible.

~CindyLu

back to the basics

Whispers in My Ear

I’m sitting here in the back corner of the break room at work. My preference, in any room, is always the furthest corner and facing the door. I have to assume it’s because I’m part introvert, I never like to have my back to anyone, and I’m a people watcher.

I see many faces that I know, so we stop and share a quick hello. I see several that I only recognize, so we share a smile, and then there are others that I don’t know at all.

The TV is on; set to an outdoors adventure type of reality show, but no one is really paying much attention to it. A woman is sitting alone in the corner, eating her salad and reading a novel. A man is sitting in another isolated chair thumbing away on his smart phone. Two friends are sitting on a couch, laughing and sharing stories that no one else can hear….probably office gossip.

A woman walks into the room that I haven’t seen in a while. We know each other so we smile and chat for a minute…small talk. People are around so it’s nothing too deep. But my heart tugs as I think more about her. She’s cute and bright, has a cheery disposition…always! She has curly hair like me, but wears it openly…always! I remember sharing our curly-girl-hair tips last summer. I know that she loves her husband passionately…just like I love mine. In addition to the curly-girl conversations, we shared a few of those joined-at-the-hip types of stories about our weekends or upcoming vacations. So, I just know that he’s everything to her.

A couple of weeks ago, I had asked another friend about her because I hadn’t seen her around like I usually do. My friend said, “Oh…didn’t you hear?”

“I don’t think so, because I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

My friend goes on, “She and her husband went on a ride back in November. It was a freak accident. He didn’t make it.”

I am absolutely, positively, crushed for her. Seeing her now, I want to hug her and cry with her…but it’s not an appropriate place. I know how I am at work…it’s not the place you want to cry. I smile and say, “Hi. How are you?” and she answers, “I’m okay” with a smile.

I wish I could tell her that I know…but now isn’t the time. I want to talk with her…just listen to her wounded heart and be a good friend, but I’m unsure.

She goes to the vending machine to get a bottle of water. We say “See you later” almost in unison, and she’s back out the door, heading to her office. My heart aches for her. I can’t imagine my life without HB and can’t even begin to fathom what she must be going through.

I look again around the room at all of the faces. We pass each other every single day; smiling, saying hello, just going about our merry way.

I think about God and His love for everyone in this room. While I know nothing about their personal lives, He knows every single one and all of the details. The vastness of that overwhelms me.

I think of her and I ask God to open a door for us to talk one day. I hear a whisper in my ear telling me to just pray for her. My eyes begin to tear up as I hear the whisper and the thought of her tugs on my heart-strings again.  I look around the room and decide that I’ll pray for them all.

Sometimes God just catches my heart by surprise. Like he just stops me in my tracks to help me remove the blinders and open the eyes of my heart. And not because I can do anything about what is going on…but I suppose because it gives me an opportunity to see people outside of the little world I create for myself. I just learned another lesson in love and compassion for others.

I get so tangled, at times, in the busyness of life. I complain about things so little by comparison. Lord, help me.

I take a moment to appreciate all that I’ve lost, because I have compassion for the wounded heart. I take a moment to appreciate all that I have and say a little word of thanks.  With an enlightened heart, I ask for help in embracing each and every day.

It’s time to get back to my desk now, but before I do, I obey the whisper.

Without anyone seeing or knowing, I look around the room one last time and pray for each of them. Just a simple prayer…that no matter who they are, no matter what they are going through in their life today, that they will clearly see His thumbprint…and that somehow His Light will burst through to give them an assured sense that He is right there with them.

Take a look at the people around you today. Each person has their own life that they’re dancing or muddling through. Smile…chat…say a little prayer.

Take a look at your own life. Give thanks. Embrace your day.

May you see His thumb print on your day and His light on your path.

Light of the World