Tag: life

Flipping the Switch

It seems as if it’s been forever since I last wrote something here. I think that as life threw its curve balls at me, I just didn’t know how to put it all into words…and so, I didn’t even try.

To give you a bullet point, the job that I had invested about seventeen years of my life into was suddenly eliminated. As a result, it sent me into a spiral of emotions that shocked even me. I’m an even-keeled person, and it takes a lot to send me tossing about, but this life event sure did. Just like they say, there are certain things in life that cause you to go through the grief emotions, and I did just that.

But, I have found my land legs again and honestly, it was a blessing in disguise. I mean, how fun that I have all this time to write! The problem has been that I’ve hardly written a single thing for people to see. Yesterday, the switch flipped.

HB and I spent the day with some good friends of ours. We visited a nearby flea market and took several random photos of food, flea market finds, and selfies, as my girlfriend and I tried on funny and super cute hats. I have always loved hats and have been told that I have great hair for hats, yet, I never wear them. I decided that I was buying not one, but TWO new hats and committed to actually wear them.

But as I said, we took lots of fun pictures and as I sat down last night to take a look back at the day, I was so surprised to see myself in these photos. All I could think was, “Who on earth is that woman posing as me?!?!” Feelings of shock and disgust fell on me, and I almost deleted them in that moment. But then decided, no…I need these. It was actually very sad to look at this woman who allowed the past couple of months to derail her life a little bit. In truth, I love this woman and seeing her like this made me want to take care of her. While the day was filled with fun, I could clearly see the toll life’s events had taken on her.

And so, the switch flipped right there.

This new feeling of energy, encouragement and excitement overcame me as I looked at my reflection in this photos. I walked into the bathroom and pulled that dusty scale out from under the dresser and decided to face the reality of it all. Shocking, yes – I weigh more than  ever have – but it didn’t surprise or destroy me.

I stepped back down and looked at myself in the mirror. When I’m all dressed up, jewelry and makeup on, and hair styled, it’s easy to ignore the unhealthiness that I’m trying to hide. So, I really looked at myself, and all I could think was, “Good grief…I am so sorry at how unkind I’ve been to you.”

Next week is my 52nd birthday, and the gift I’m giving myself is declaring this time of my life, “MY” decade. I have been raising children since I was 17 years old (yes, I started young). They have all grown and are creating lives of their own, so I’m giving myself permission to step away from their lives a bit and turn the focus around to me. I’m flipping the switch.

For those of you younger than me, I have lots of advice and insight to send out to you about the baggage we carry through our decades. For those who are in my age range, I hope to encourage you as you also blaze through this era of your life. As well, I look forward to soaking up the insights and encouragements of others as they come my way.

Join me on my new and improved journey as I approach a brand new year and finally embrace and seize this decade of my life.

*raising my coffee cup to you!* CHEERS!

 

~CindyLu~

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Zoning In

Sitting here at work, I just opened the monthly calendar. I need to schedule a couple of personal appointments and wanted to check my availability.

Wow. As I look over the boxes on the page, I am amazed with all of the glorious, wide-open, spaces. It wasn’t too long ago that our calendar was filled with places to go, people to see and things to do. Life was all about schedules.

When we became empty nesters and made various cuts, we couldn’t help but bask in the glory of our freedom. It was wonderful to be able to come home from work and not have to be anywhere at all. Oh, and to have a free weekend? Heaven on earth!

But as I sit here looking at the blank boxes, I’m kind of wondering…have we become time wasters? I mean, I much prefer to be on this side of the schedule, where it’s easy and comfortable…but I can’t help but ask myself, “Am I truly using my time wisely?”

If I’m completely honest, most nights now look something like this:
Come home. Eat dinner.
Grab smart devices. (But are they really?)
Turn TV on.  Assume the normal positions on the big couch and then…
“Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.”

That is not the sound of us sleeping, but the sound of us zoning out! We are wide awake, but I think in some way our brains are very clearly making that sound. Ummm…this sort of concerns me as I picture the two of us sitting there together, but zoned out in our own little worlds.

So, I think it might be time to re-think how I’m using all of these wide open boxes. Maybe I could turn off the TV, resist the urge to get cozy in that little corner of the couch, put down the device from time-to-time, and return to some old-fashioned ways of doing things.

I could do something like…

…read a good “fiction book.” I am always reading something but most of the time it’s self-guidance or tutorial related. How heavenly it sounds to hold a book in my hands that takes me to another city, another place in time, where I’ll meet new people.

…talk on the phone (gasp!) every now and then, so the friend or family member, on the other side of the computer screen, gets their true voice back. I used to be such a telephone talker, but modern technology and schedules made me feel like I didn’t have time for small chit-chat.

…actually invite family and friends over to just sit for a spell. With all of the fancy Pinterest ideas (which I do love), it seems every gathering now needs to be filled with entertainment for all of the senses. Can’t sitting, relaxing and chatting over a nice beverage be enough? Yes. I believe it can.

Or how about…

…push the stack of mail aside, turn on some good tunes and light a couple of candles at the dinner table, to turn our Chipotle Burrito Bowl meal into something relaxed and romantic.

…just an intentional focus on Zoning In. The possibilities are endless.

Today I had to step outside the office to go to another building. As I walked along, I breathed in the fresh air and really opened my eyes to all that surrounded me. Wow…it’s a gorgeous day! And I actually saw three little humming birds in three different places. They didn’t even seem to mind that I was so close to them. I love hummingbirds.

But…I was amazed and a little bit saddened by this.
When did I stop taking breaks from my work?
There’s a reason they give us breaks from our work.
Like I said, one extreme to the other…

Friends, there’s a world out there that we’re supposed to be living in. The place you work, the home you live in, the family you have, the friends in your life…we’ve been strategically placed. What simple changes can you make to embrace and be active in your life?

Lifting my coffee mug to you…

Here’s to finding a happy and healthy balance.
Here’s to opening the eyes of our heart and embracing our relationships.
Here’s to Zoning In and enjoying the life we’ve been given.

~CindyLu~

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The Porch Post / July 18th

The past month was a busy one. HB and I were working on projects around our home, which included making one of our dreams come true. We live in a little suburb area of Sacramento; it’s one of the typical post-war era subdivisions, filled with your basic and functional ranch-style homes that were popular in the late 50’s. Most homes, in our area, have large front yards with big trees, so we’ve always enjoyed sitting out front on our little porch.

The country girl and boy in us has always dreamed of a real porch; meaning, a big, comfy, wood porch. You know, the kind that becons you outdoors to sit for a spell. To drink a cup of coffee or sweet iced tea and wave at the neighbors walking by.

So, we decided it was time. We sat down, wrote out a plan, and made it come to life. It’s amazing what you can accomplish with a bit if brain, a lot of brawn and the local Home Depot.

We had an old and cracked cement porch that we decided would be easier to cover than to break out and build from scratch. After some research, we found that we could use cement screws to put down the supporting boards that would hold our future wooden porch. Once he got started, it just began to take on its own life.

I am amazed! Instead of writing it all out, I’ll share some visuals with you.

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The porch area over the old cement went down fairly easy for him. The bigger job would be the wrapped section where there had been a row of bushes, along the wall, and old brick that weeds grew through. The ground was rough and uneven and he wanted the porch to be flush with what was already completed.

I love this picture of HB as he contemplates his next move.

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The next day, he started work on leveling out the ground and soon, it all began to come together. Once again, I am absolutely amazed – and talk about some solid framing!

Here’s the wrapped section…

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He sure did a nice job, didn’t he?

It needed to be stained and sealed, so here are the finished pictures…

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We put these barrels at the end of the porch to give us a little bit of a privacy screen from the sidewalk and street.

Even the neighborbood cat loves it. In fact, we believe Coffee Bean (our name for her) thinks we built this just for her because she treats it as if it’s her new livingroom.

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So…our dream has finally come true. It’s my favorite place to read, blog, drink coffee and watch the world. And now, neighbors passing by, tend to stop and chat. Friends have stopped by, out of the blue, just to sit on our porch…and we love it. It has done so much more than add some curb appeal…it has opened the door to many conversations about life outside our front doors.

Hope you’ve enjoyed my first little post from my porch.
To be continued…

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~CindyLu

 

 

Simple Life – Clearing the Cobwebs

Day 4…

You know, when I originally thought up this idea to blog, each day, in my pursuit of the “simple life,” I never really thought I’d be diving into so much internal cleaning. I mean, this all began when I did some real spring cleaning in my home. I can be very detail oriented when it comes to certain things (call it OCDish tendencies), so I thought this would be an awesome journey to take friends on with me. When I get into something, I will research it to death in my effort to become proficient. But like I said, I was thinking completely outward.

It’s interesting to me how writing/blogging causes you to go so much deeper into yourself. I’ve said it before in other notes, how I feel so much more in tune with everything going on around me now. In some ways it irritates me, but in others I find it very cool.

Irritating to me because I’ve always been a deep person anyway and I never thought I could get much deeper than I already am – nor did I really care to. I’m not the kind of person that likes to stick around and dissect every little thing in my life, especially the mishaps. I believe there are just some things we need to move beyond so they don’t take control and hold us down. But cool, because I just continue to learn more and more about myself…and just how deep my heart really goes. It’s helping me to sort out a few issues that maybe I’ve skipped over too quickly. In my writing, I’m finding therapy for my heart which encourages me to keep on keepin’ on.

I woke up feeling really snarky this morning…my head full of cobwebs. I’m not sure if it was from…lack of sleep due to my stiff neck and the swooshing sound of my heartbeat in my left ear (something that happens every now and then)…the need for coffee…or just because of other stuff that I felt annoyed with.  Probably all of the above.

And this is, actually, my second attempt at writing today. I made the decision to wad up the first draft and toss it in the waste basket because it was filled [to the rim] with my random rants…the evil side of my random ramblings; just a mess of mental cobwebs, if you will. I justified my first run-through because I know that people want realness in what others write…it’s what draws us into each other’s lives. But it was really snarky; a bunch of venting to everyone out there about everything that discourages and annoys me. Feeling thankful I didn’t publish that.

Okay…it did feel good to get it out of my head and into written form where I could see it and deal with it, but the truth is…it’s just not my style of writing to put my rants out in the open for all eyes to see. Some things I feel the need to keep to myself.

But I’ll share this…just like anyone else, I experience days of chaos, shortcomings, and disappointment in people and things – and this morning was such a day. But I won’t take you down that road with me because my true desire is to encourage others and draw them in with words that lift and sooth the worn and weary heart.

It was my daily crossroad….the decision whether to take the road that was wide and windy or the road that was narrow and straight. I would much rather suck it up and take the road that will get me into a lot less trouble – and, in the long run, it’s definitely the simpler road to take.

My intent today was to tell you about my success with KP Duty…but it seems I had some cobwebs I needed to get out-of-the-way first. Amazing how a good decision can clear them away and bring cleanliness to something more important than my home…that is, my heart.

And by the way…I did complete my inventory last night. I was able to create a great menu with what I already have on hand, with just a small list of things to add to it. I can check that task off the list. Success!

cobwebs

 

~CindyLu

Whispers in My Ear

I’m sitting here in the back corner of the break room at work. My preference, in any room, is always the furthest corner and facing the door. I have to assume it’s because I’m part introvert, I never like to have my back to anyone, and I’m a people watcher.

I see many faces that I know, so we stop and share a quick hello. I see several that I only recognize, so we share a smile, and then there are others that I don’t know at all.

The TV is on; set to an outdoors adventure type of reality show, but no one is really paying much attention to it. A woman is sitting alone in the corner, eating her salad and reading a novel. A man is sitting in another isolated chair thumbing away on his smart phone. Two friends are sitting on a couch, laughing and sharing stories that no one else can hear….probably office gossip.

A woman walks into the room that I haven’t seen in a while. We know each other so we smile and chat for a minute…small talk. People are around so it’s nothing too deep. But my heart tugs as I think more about her. She’s cute and bright, has a cheery disposition…always! She has curly hair like me, but wears it openly…always! I remember sharing our curly-girl-hair tips last summer. I know that she loves her husband passionately…just like I love mine. In addition to the curly-girl conversations, we shared a few of those joined-at-the-hip types of stories about our weekends or upcoming vacations. So, I just know that he’s everything to her.

A couple of weeks ago, I had asked another friend about her because I hadn’t seen her around like I usually do. My friend said, “Oh…didn’t you hear?”

“I don’t think so, because I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

My friend goes on, “She and her husband went on a ride back in November. It was a freak accident. He didn’t make it.”

I am absolutely, positively, crushed for her. Seeing her now, I want to hug her and cry with her…but it’s not an appropriate place. I know how I am at work…it’s not the place you want to cry. I smile and say, “Hi. How are you?” and she answers, “I’m okay” with a smile.

I wish I could tell her that I know…but now isn’t the time. I want to talk with her…just listen to her wounded heart and be a good friend, but I’m unsure.

She goes to the vending machine to get a bottle of water. We say “See you later” almost in unison, and she’s back out the door, heading to her office. My heart aches for her. I can’t imagine my life without HB and can’t even begin to fathom what she must be going through.

I look again around the room at all of the faces. We pass each other every single day; smiling, saying hello, just going about our merry way.

I think about God and His love for everyone in this room. While I know nothing about their personal lives, He knows every single one and all of the details. The vastness of that overwhelms me.

I think of her and I ask God to open a door for us to talk one day. I hear a whisper in my ear telling me to just pray for her. My eyes begin to tear up as I hear the whisper and the thought of her tugs on my heart-strings again.  I look around the room and decide that I’ll pray for them all.

Sometimes God just catches my heart by surprise. Like he just stops me in my tracks to help me remove the blinders and open the eyes of my heart. And not because I can do anything about what is going on…but I suppose because it gives me an opportunity to see people outside of the little world I create for myself. I just learned another lesson in love and compassion for others.

I get so tangled, at times, in the busyness of life. I complain about things so little by comparison. Lord, help me.

I take a moment to appreciate all that I’ve lost, because I have compassion for the wounded heart. I take a moment to appreciate all that I have and say a little word of thanks.  With an enlightened heart, I ask for help in embracing each and every day.

It’s time to get back to my desk now, but before I do, I obey the whisper.

Without anyone seeing or knowing, I look around the room one last time and pray for each of them. Just a simple prayer…that no matter who they are, no matter what they are going through in their life today, that they will clearly see His thumbprint…and that somehow His Light will burst through to give them an assured sense that He is right there with them.

Take a look at the people around you today. Each person has their own life that they’re dancing or muddling through. Smile…chat…say a little prayer.

Take a look at your own life. Give thanks. Embrace your day.

May you see His thumb print on your day and His light on your path.

Light of the World

Uplifting Reminders…

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Need some encouragement today?

Whatever your gift…don’t EVER let it go.

It’s who you are.

~ author of quote, unknown