Learning As I Go

Like many writers out here, this world of blogging is all very new to me. I mean, I do have profiles on Facebook and Instagram, and I’m known to post my little CindyLu-isms about everything and nothing, as well as the occasional “look what I’m eating” picture. But I’ve never really opened up the personal pages of my “life journal” to share the internal ramblings of my heart.

While I am a complete and utter optimist, I do write all over the place, because I just go as my emotions lead. I don’t know about you, but I often stop for a moment, before hitting “Publish” and think to myself, “Is this really worth it? Does this even make sense?” My mind sometimes tells me, “Don’t do it,” but usually my heart overrides and says, “Let it go…send it.”

So I’m venturing out into this unchartered territory and I’m beginning to see a little bit more of what calls out to others. I’m a people watcher and find it very interesting that I even “see” people here. I’ve read blogging articles that say over, and over, and OVER again…”Just be real.” I seriously need to print that and put it on the wall in my little study, because that’s what keeps ringing out to me in that moment of panic before I push that button.

I must say that I am truly humbled by the support I receive from fellow writers, as well as my little circle of friends. When I find out that someone “likes” what I wrote, my heart does a little dance knowing that they “got it.” And when I get a notification that someone new has jumped on board to follow along, well…I am just in awe by such an act.

Because of my optimistic, the-sun-will-come-out-tomorrow, attitude I often put things out there that have that same cheery tone and bounce to them. And then there are the other ramblings I write, where I pull back some layers of myself and reveal something very deep, very real, even painful…and I see the difference in the response.

I’m beginning to understand how much people love and appreciate it when we get to the very core of our hearts. It’s hard, sometimes, for me to be so vulnerable and expose myself in that manner. I come from a time where you swept your problems under the carpet. Where you move forward and you keep that smile on your face.

I suppose, in some ways, that’s what has helped direct the heart that I have. I stop and wonder…am I optimistic because I was taught to sweep things away and rise above? Or have I been able to sweep things and rise above because I’ve always been optimistic? Hmmm…now that’s deep!

Whatever the case…while I am good at rising above and seeing the good in things, there are times when, even I, need to vomit out of me the frustrations and disappointments of life. And I’m learning the value of both, as I go along this journey.

As an encourager, I know that others need to hear words of love, faith and hope…lots and lots of hope…but, I also see the true value of letting down my guard and just being real while I do that.

It’s amazing to me…we write because we feel this need to get it out of us…to share with others and maybe help someone along their journey. But the truth of the matter is, as we write, we also learn so much more about ourselves. The therapy seems to go both ways.



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