I’m sitting here, looking out my window, coffee in hand…and feeling frustrated. It’s been a busy week and I still have a list of things that I need to do; both, for myself and for others. I let out a sigh.
I long to write…and have ideas but they just won’t come out of my fingers tips and onto paper. Instead they continue to bounce around in my head, where I can’t quite touch them. Some days I can sit with my journal and the words just flow. Other days….silence.
I begin to question myself again…”Do you really have what it takes?” and I allow the discouragement to settle in. But then…I hear the little fighter in me saying, “Wait it out, the words will come again.” I let out a sigh.
All of a sudden, a whisper flitters into my heart, “Be still…”
I continue to sit by my window and do just that. Outside, the world wakes up. A couple is walking hand-in-hand, down my street and I think about HB and how we keep saying we’re going to get outside and start walking. I think of the evening and how I can’t wait to see him when we’re both home again. I smile.
There’s a stray cat that I’ve named Coffee Bean, leisurely snoozing on my front porch. She has a home two doors down, but she loves my front porch for its comfy furnishings. I don’t mind at all, because the sight of her resting there is so pretty in my eyes. I think every porch should have a cat snoozing on it. I smile.
A couple of birds are on the feeder and I’m thankful that Coffee Bean couldn’t care less by their presence. I’ve learned that she would rather sleep than do anything else. They make their little birdie noises and drop little seed shells on the railing and she just snoozes away nearby. I smile.
Cars are pulling out of their driveways and heading out to begin their day…something that I need to do soon, as well. But for now, I want to sit here and be still…in silence.
My heart hears it again…”Be still and know…”
I’ve spent the week cursing the silence in my head. I’ve watched and listened for something (anything!) that would get the words flowing inside of me. As I sit here in silence, I realize that this is exactly what I needed to embrace all along. I am suddenly aware of my surroundings again; things that I forgot to notice in my crazy busyness.
He knows me oh so well…better than anyone else.
He whispers to my heart…”Be still and know that I am God.”
I put my pen to my journal and my fingers begin to move…